


Horny

by casualhibiscus



Category: Naruto
Genre: Body Horror, Drabble, Gen, Humor, M/M, Weird Biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 11:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16196978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualhibiscus/pseuds/casualhibiscus
Summary: "Well," Orochimaru said, leaning back and assessing the situation as a whole. "My best guess is that you're growing horns and a tail."





	Horny

**Author's Note:**

> I had the horrible, terrible thought that if Orochimaru's DNA is like a virus, if someone is exposed to his semen over a long period of time, maybe they'd become somewhat reptilian? (Yeah, I don't know why I actually wrote this, either.)

Of all the things Kabuto expected to wake up to, a strange growth on either side of his head wasn't one of them.

Furthermore, neither was the one on his lower back.

Delicately prodding the offending protusions proved them to be quite sensitive, as if directly tied to his nervous system.

Attempting to stifle the panic growing inside of him, Kabuto rushed to get dressed and make his way to the lab. Surely as a man of science he'd be able to diagnose this right away.

However, in his haste, he nearly collided with Orochimaru.

"I-I'm so sorry, Sir!" Kabuto stammered. "Please forgive me, I'm in a bit of a rush because-"

"Interesting," Orochimaru murmured thoughtfully, pressing his fingers against the growths on Kabuto's head.

Kabuto shivered in response. "A-Ah yes, about that-"

"Do you have them anywhere else?" Orochimaru asked, apparently too engrossed in this new development to care that he'd nearly been run over.

"Yes, Sir," Kabuto replied honestly. "There's an identical one at the base of my spine."

"Well," Orochimaru said, leaning back and assessing the situation as a whole. "My best guess is that you're growing horns and a tail."

 _"What?!"_ Kabuto squeaked, a note of panic creeping into his voice. "How did this happen?! I take such precautions with all of my experiments to avoid contami-"

Orochimaru raised his hand to silence Kabuto. "I have a theory."

"...And that would be, Sir?"

"You've been exposed to my genetic material on a frequent basis for several years now. Given the fact that my DNA is rather viral in nature, perhaps this is the direct - but certainly unexpected - result of that."

"Exposed to your-?" Kabuto began, before the reality of the situation fully dawned on him. _"...Oh."_

"Further testing will be needed to confirm this, of course," Orochimaru continued, winding an arm around Kabuto's shoulder and gently steering him towards the lab.

"Right, of course," the medic coughed, his face bright red.

\---

_A Few Days Later_

\---

"What the hell?" Sasuke asked, straight to the point as always.

"Don't ask," Kabuto muttered irritatedly, his lizard's tail twitching behind him.

"But you've got... horns."

"I'm aware of that, Sasuke."

The younger ninja huffed with disdain. "Whatever," he concluded, pushing past Kabuto as he headed for the training grounds.

"I, for one, think that they suit you," Orochimaru said, once Sasuke was out of ear shot. Before Kabuto could protest, he leaned in and gave his lover a thorough kiss.

 _Well, maybe this isn't so bad,_ Kabuto thought to himself, as Orochimaru pulled away and sauntered off with a smirk.


End file.
